What Good Is Empathy?

"Empathy is an equalizing force, in which one person connects with the experience of another. Human meets human." ⸻Maryann McKibben Dana, Substack

Empathy begs us to see the humanity of others in our lives. It removes the blinders that keep us looking only to our own interests and invites us to participate in the connectivity of humanity and the world around us. It’s a powerful force.

But is it necessary and what good does it bring? Another way to ask the question is this: Can we participate in God’s ministry of reconciliation and shalom without empathy?

Empathy is not just a moral virtue—it is a cornerstone of relational resilience and a vital component of personal and collective well-being. It also has moral implications, especially for a worldview rooted in the Scriptures. To be a disciple of Christ - that is, to be a student or apprentice of Jesus - we must embody and exemplify the way he lived as a divine human being. 

And beyond reading just the Gospels, we study the whole Scripture and invite the Holy Spirit to transform us into God’s image. What we see in the Scriptures is a compassionate God, so it’s worth us examining how empathy should show up in our character.

What Is Empathy?

Oxford Dictionary defines empathy as “The ability to understand and share the feelings of another.” It’s quite a modern word and was coined in 1908, based on the German concept of Einfühlung, or in-feeling.

Empathy cannot be accurately understood without also discussing sympathy and compassion. Maryann McKibben Dana states, “Words like sympathy, empathy, and compassion get a little squishy because it’s all in how we define them.” 

Empathy is often understood as connected to sympathy, but taken a step further. Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines it this way:

“Sympathy is a feeling of sincere concern for someone who is experiencing something difficult or painful; empathy involves actively sharing in the emotional experience of the other person.” 

Likewise, empathy and compassion are difficult to parse out. Theologian, Pete Enns, describes it this way:

“Compassion is not the same thing as empathy, but it is very closely related. Think of two circles that overlap 90%. Compassion is acting in such a way as to relieve the suffering of others.”

In fact, philosophers and social scientists sometimes use empathy, sympathy, and compassion interchangeably, under the concept of empathic concern.

For the sake of today’s blog post, I will continue to use the word empathy, recognizing that empathy is a simple word that conveys many facets of caring for others.

Practicing Empathy with Boundaries

Empathy is a morally good virtue; however, unbalanced empathy can lead to unhealthy dynamics. One unhealthy relational dynamic that can come from unbalanced empathy is codependency. Codependency is an unhealthy reliance on others for emotional validation. A codependent person may derive meaning from serving and prioritizing others’ needs to their detriment. This can stem from their fear of abandonment or feeling responsible for solving others’ problems.

One key way to empathize without falling into codependency is by maintaining boundaries. Boundaries are the lines we draw in mental, social, physical, and spiritual areas of life for the sake of our holistic well-being. Healthy empathy involves understanding others' emotions without becoming overwhelmed by them.

We also need to guard against empathy that is absent of thinking, logic, or truth. Empathy involves understanding emotions without sacrificing rational thought or factual accuracy. Excessive empathy without emotional regulation can lead to burnout and emotional fatigue.

What Is the Science behind Empathy?

While the term empathy has only been in our English language for a little over a hundred years, the physical expressions of empathy have been hardwired into our brains and bodies by our Creator. “Research in the neurobiology of empathy has changed the perception of empathy from a soft skill to a neurobiologically based competency.”  Two mechanisms of neuroscience are worth noting.

The first is Mirror Neurons, which are activated in the brain when we observe someone else. As we observe the behaviors and emotions of others, neurons in our brain mirror what we are observing, resulting in our behaviors and emotions mimicking theirs. Mirror Neurons allow us to “form deep emotional connections with those around us, even helping us understand why people do what they do.”

In the field of interpersonal neurobiology, the sense of feeling felt, coined by the leading researcher in the field, Dr. Dan Siegel, is known as Limbic Resonance. This experience of being empathetically and authentically connected to another’s experience is linked to the physical anatomy of our nervous system. This mechanism underscores how our emotional states can attune to those of others, forming the basis for deep, emotional connections.

How Empathy Relates to Resilience

As we have seen, empathy enables individuals to understand and share the feelings of others, fostering deeper connections and emotional support. Empathy can enhance the resilience of individuals and communities, as well as foster holistic well-being. 

Empathy is helpful for emotional regulation. Empathy helps individuals manage their emotions by recognizing and understanding others' feelings, leading to better emotional control and stability. Understanding others' struggles can lead to greater self-compassion, reducing self-criticism and promoting a healthier self-relationship. When we give and receive empathy, our brains produce oxytocin, sometimes called the love hormone, which creates a sense of trust and cooperation, reduced stress, and social bonding.

Empathy is foundational to creating social support. Empathetic individuals are more likely to offer and receive support, creating a network of relationships that provide comfort and strength during challenging times. Empathy deepens connections, builds trust, and enhances communication, forming the foundation of healthy relationships. Empathetic societies are more cooperative, compassionate, and inclusive, leading to stronger communities.

Empathy is also good for the world. It encourages prosocial actions and ethical decision-making, promoting a more just society. But the world without empathy would look like a world without goodness. Hannah Arendt gives a stark warning: “The death of human empathy is one of the earliest and most telling signs of a culture about to fall into barbarism.” 

Just like all virtues, empathy can be grown and strengthened. Helen Reiss, in discussing her book, The Empathy Effect, says that we can become

“more adept at perceiving others’ emotions, learning self-regulation techniques to help us not get overwhelmed by excessive emotional resonance, and finding ways to encourage perspective taking.”

But as Christians, we have an advantage because we have God, through his Word and the person of Jesus, to show us what empathy looks like.

God Is Our Model of Empathy

As we read through Scripture, we can expect that God will reveal himself to us. And what we find is that God is "gracious and full of compassion, slow to anger, and abounding in lovingkindness. The Lord is good to all, and his tender mercies are over all his works" (Psalm 145:8-9). God is not just loving; his essence is love. “God is love” (1 John 4:8).

God is not just showing distant, cold sympathy, but rather we see God being moved by our experiences. Psalm 116:2 says, "Because he bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath!" The psalmist praises God as the “Father of the fatherless and the protector of widows” (Psalm 68:5). The Holy Spirit is seen as actively suffering alongside humans, even groaning as he intercedes for them. (Romans 8:26).

Astoundingly, our pain is witnessed and recorded by God: “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book” (Psalm 56:8, NLT). And so, we can know that if we draw near to God, he will draw near to us (James 4:8).

God, in his compassion and love for humankind, boldly declares himself a God of empathy by putting on flesh and walking the earth as a human. Pete Enns states with frankness, “To say that empathy is sub-Christian is, frankly, moronic. God became man and experienced human pain and suffering. Incarnation is itself an act of empathy.”

Several Bible verses highlight Jesus' humanity, emphasizing his experience of human emotions, needs, and physical limitations. Key verses include John 1:14, which states "The Word became flesh and dwelt among us"; and Hebrews 2:17-18, which describes Jesus as "in all respects like us, yet without sin." 

Jesus didn’t just teach about love and compassion—he embodied them in ways that transformed lives and set a model for His followers. His empathy moved Him to meet both physical and spiritual needs of the people he encountered. When he saw the hungry crowd, he didn’t just feel pity; he fed them (Matthew 14:14–21). When he saw his close friend, Mary, weeping over the death of her brother, also Jesus’ close friend, he was “indignant and greatly troubled in his spirit” (John 11:33). He felt her sorrow on a profound level.

Jesus reached out to the marginalized—lepers, women, tax collectors, and Gentiles—showing that empathy transcends social and cultural boundaries. He touched the untouchable and welcomed the outcast. When a bleeding woman broke the purity laws and touched Jesus for healing, Jesus saw past the law. He tenderly called her daughter and blessed her with healing and peace (Luke 8:48). 

Then Jesus made a circuit of all the towns and villages. He taught in their meeting places, reported kingdom news, and healed their diseased bodies and bruised, hurt lives. When he looked out over the crowds, his heart broke. So confused and aimless they were, like sheep with no shepherd. “What a huge harvest!” he said to his disciples. “How few workers! On your knees and pray for harvest hands!” (Matthew 9:36-38, MSG)

How To Be Empathetic Like Christ

To be a disciple of Christ is to apprentice under his way of life, which is profoundly marked by empathy. And let’s remember what Jesus did for his 12 disciples, shortly before his death, and eventually sending them out to imitate him to the world. He washed their feet (John 13:1-7). 

Paul, in his letter to the Philippians, admonished, “Adopt the same attitude as that of Christ Jesus, who, existing in the form of God, did not consider equality with Godas something to be exploited. Instead, he emptied himself by assuming the form of a servant, taking on the likeness of humanity” (Philippians 2:5-7).

In one of the most well-known parables of all time, Jesus shares how to love our neighbor by telling the story of the good Samaritan. This man not only picked up a near-dead social enemy, but he also tended to his wounds and gave financially to ensure his recovery (Luke 10). Empathy, it seems, calls us to be inconvenienced for those we would normally ignore.

Empathy requires us to step into the experiences of others. And this is fundamental to the Christian faith. To be like Jesus, we must be present to the emotional, spiritual, mental, and physical experiences of others - and be touched and changed by them. Let’s live by the words of Paul in Romans 12: “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.”

Being discipled into Jesus’ way of empathy is not optional—it is central to what it means to follow him. As we grow in empathy, we grow in Christlikeness, becoming more effective witnesses of his love in a hurting world.

To Embody God-Like Empathy, We Must be Transformed.

How can we imitate Christ’s ways of empathy, kindness, compassion, and goodness? We can strive, but let’s remember that we cannot be transformed by our own strength. We can think about empathy like the fruits of the Spirit. Just as the fruits of the Spirit are evidence of the Holy Spirit’s work in a person’s life (Galatians 5:22-23), I believe that empathy results from ongoing transformation.

Transformation is one of six Principles of Resiliency that guide our ministry at the Resilient Communities Center. Transforming the heart and mind opens the door to whole-life transformation – the ultimate goal. Personal transformation sustains communal transformation. 

Transformation is both an event and a process. It can happen in small progressive increments or a monumental change. As in the parable of the sower, not all change lasts. It is critical to have follow-up, encouragement, discipleship, and coaching – especially in the early stages of transformation.

Here are a few ways you can cultivate empathy as a disciple of Christ:

• Pray for a Heart Like Jesus: Ask God to open your eyes to the needs around you and to soften your heart.

• Practice Active Listening: Truly hear others without judgment or interruption.

• Serve without Expectation: Look for opportunities to help without seeking recognition.

• Embrace Vulnerability: Allow yourself to feel with others and share in their experiences.

What are other ways you can incorporate empathy in your daily practice?

Empathy is integral to building resilience and fostering meaningful connections. By cultivating empathy, individuals contribute to a more compassionate and resilient society.

Be spurred on by the words of Paul in Romans 12:2: “Don’t be conformed to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds.” Set out to be empathetic. It’s good for you, it’s good for the world around you, and most importantly, it’s a way to live like Christ.

Invitation to Explore Our Principles and Practices

If you want to learn more about our Principle of Transformation, as well as our other 5 Principles of Resiliency, join our virtual community of practice, launching June 2025.

Each cohort is designed to foster real-time practice through living into the very principles we learn. We invite you to also consider the act of self-compassion, examining ways to hold space for your own experiences in the face of differences and financial disruptions, to name a few.

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